1,225 Days

Since the last time I published a Medium story

The greatest irony is that I fell off the writing train when I landed my first writing job. I dabbled in a newsletter or two here and there and even wrote over 30,000 words during a single Labor Day weekend in 2018 (and deleted everything I wrote a few months later).

But, mostly, I abandoned the one thing that gave me so much passion-laden energy that I found myself waking up at 3:00am without an alarm, so I could make writing the thing I got paid to do.

Funny thing is, I’m hardly a writer at all. I’m an editor—a developmental editor to be precise. I spent the last four years amplifying the voices of guest authors (most first time authors) who are leading transformational education work in their communities.

I’m writing this story without structure, without any regard for sensemaking or to make it more digestible or attractive for you to read. No, this is just me breaking the 1,225 day mold that I involuntarily allowed to harden around my creative spirit.

I guess that’s not true. I’ve been using my creativity like a madman over the past 1,225 days—including trying to start a coaching business (still trying). “Writing spirit” is better phrasing.

I’ve been itching like crazy to feel expressed, which I’ve realized is where my temptation to be on social media, to write a newsletter, to start a podcast, to provide updates about my journey on the road this, to speak up in work meetings, to speak up in random webinars (I’m that person who always has a question to ask).

Expressing myself through words has been an endless need of mine since I was young. Sometimes it’s in writing, sometimes it’s speaking.

Funny thing is, I don’t have any tangible definition to know that I have actually expressed myself. It’s not that I need someone to hear me. I think it’s that I need me to hear me. I need to know the thoughts and ideas that are circling in my head have value. I need my own words to resonate with me like some strangely narcissistic addiction.

Does this mean I’m going to more intentionally write stories here? I don’t know. I just got inspired when logging on and seeing Darlene McGarrity and David Cook had recently commented on my article about skydiving. How in the world they found it is beyond me, but to know something I wrote in 2017 was still entertaining someone, somewhere is really the beauty of putting myself (yourself) out there for the world to maybe latch onto for a moment.

1,225 days. A number that represents stagnation in a life that has been moving so quickly.

Here’s to expressing myself. I hope you find your outlet to do the same.