What it’s like Navigating the World After Graduation

You need to travel, but that’s just the beginning

It’s difficult to have sense of self in your early to mid twenties (and I’m assuming late twenties, but haven’t gotten there yet). You’ve recently graduated from high school or college, find yourself stepping into completely unknown territory, so you decide to travel.

You want to get to know about the “real world” that was never really taught to you in school, so you think this is where your education will really begin. And, you’re right.

Unfortunately, any standard education, regardless of the level you’ve attained, has taught you very little about the world you live in. Until you’re afforded the time and space to break through the brick and mortar of these academic institutions, you are provided very little beyond idealistic theories and isolated knowledge.

You have to experience how this knowledge applies to the world around you to understand an ounce of it, so you’ve made a good decision. Raise the mast and set sail because the world is your oyster and it’s desperately asking you to experience it on your own terms—not the terms of some predetermined syllabi or curriculum.

Time forces you along regardless of the decisions you make because not making a decision is making a decision in it of itself.

As you traverse this metaphorical ocean (maybe a literal ocean if you like traveling by boat), you’ll find yourself learning at such a fast-pace, you can hardly digest it all, but you want to keep eating it up because for the first time in decades, you have control over your consumption.

All of this learning will open doors that lead to golden opportunities, inviting you into shadow-covered entryways, unwilling to show what’s on the other side.

But, as your travel winds down, you know decisions have to be made. Directions have to be chosen. Most of those doors will never be walked through and will likely lock shut once they are passed by just once, and that’s scary as hell — knowing you are limited by time.

You don’t even have to delve into the plethora of other limitations standing in your way because time will always be the number one culprit. And the more you focus on its inhibiting nature, the more opportunities and possibilities will fly right by your face without you even noticing.

So, now you feel completely stuck. One wrong move and you’ll consider every path that could have been taken, but is no longer available, so standing where you are at least guarantees the options in front of you will remain, right?

Of course not. Time forces you along regardless of the decisions you make because not making a decision is making a decision in it of itself, and those opportunities you so desperately want to hold onto will soon disappear.

You need to choose, choose, choose, or else the world will choose for you. But, you’ve never been taught how to choose.

This is crippling. You find closing your eyes and going to sleep is the only true comfort this world provides, so that is the decision you feel is best. Sleep as long as possible each day, so this impatient world will only be a part of your life half the time, while the other half can be spent in dreamland.

But then that doesn’t work because your paranoia while awake creeps into your dreams while asleep, transforming them into wake-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-screaming nightmares, so this once peaceful time is completely stripped away.

Now you’re right back at square one, hoping to find a shortcut, cheat code, or something of similar ilk to migrate yourself beyond this predicament — straight to the finish line you haven’t even created for yourself.

Growing up is fun, right?

Better not ruminate on that question too long because the world is still sprinting forward, unencumbered by that imperfect human feeling called fatigue.

You need to choose, choose, choose, or else the world will choose for you. But, you’ve never been taught how to choose. You’ve always been told what to do, what to learn, when to show up, when to leave, when to eat, when to sleep, when to talk, when to shut-up.

Sure, you know what it feels like to be free of “the man” who controlled your education for so long, but your travels didn’t teach you how to play this “decision making” game. What are the rules? Why have you spent the first two decades of your life learning a completely different game? You were good at that game. Why can’t you keep playing it?

Go ahead and scream, it’s allowed.

Let the anger and frustration explode into the night sky like a violent storm rolling along the midwestern plains — harming no one, but creating quite the show for onlookers from afar. As these emotions are released, let the resulting rain cleanse your soul, wipe your slate clean, or whatever other cliche you’d like to connect with.

Set Your Coordinates, Introduce Yourself

Now that you’ve come down from that rollercoaster, it’s time to begin the real work. It’s time to find yourself. It’s time to hop back on that boat, and take a journey of a different sort this time around.

Before you ever start walking down that abstract “career path,” you need to identify who you are or else that horror story above will continue to repeat itself.

Revelations are only such when the actions you take the next day result in a new, exciting story you can’t wait to share—not when you end up rewriting the same chapter with slightly different phrasing.

It’s time to discover you. Not “high-schooler” you, not “college-bliss” you, but “this is what I stand for” you and “this is what pops me out of bed before the alarm” you. So, where should you start?

Just like a new company begins with a vision for the future and where they believe they can make an impact in it, you can create a vision for yourself and explore how it will make an impact on the world in the coming decades.

Fair warning, this is a tedious process. You won’t find the statement that guides you in five or ten minutes. This isn’t a request to head over to BrainyQuote and find a statement someone else said that should guide you forward.

It’s time to hunker down, explore the depths of your cranial maze, and come up with a river of words that will meander the twists and turns of your unpredictable future.

Sure, quotes can be motivating, especially if they come from people you have high regard for, but their words only serve as an easy out to say, “well, they had different circumstances than I, so it’s no wonder I can’t reach that status of living.”

Sorry, you don’t get an easy out with this one. It’s time to discover who you are, without the help from someone else. Close your eyes, shut the world out for a moment, and connect with [enter your name here]. You two are about to have quite the intense collaborative session, so get connected.

Weigh Anchor, It’s Time to Sail

You need to take this ship away from shore for a little while. You need space to think. You need to have a barrier-free setting that allows you to head off in any direction you choose without the fear of getting in anyone’s way.

This will be one of the most selfish moments of your life because, by definition, you are “chiefly concerned with your own personal profit” right now. In this case, “profit” means the empowerment you will afford yourself to move forward undeterred by the frightening and chaotic world you’ve lived in thus far.

Excited? Good. Let’s go.

As you leave the harbor of your past, it’s time to hunker down, explore the depths of your cranial maze, and come up with a river of words that will meander the twists and turns of your unpredictable future. In simpler terms, get out some pen and paper. It’s time to write.

You and you alone get to decide what’s meaningful because regardless of the end product, your living into your true, authentic self.

Write every idea you’ve ever had, but never pursued. Write every thought that exemplifies “future you” and how he or she is meant to live. Write to write. Don’t look for logic or order, and don’t let that pen stop moving.

You’re not playing decision maker yet. All you’re doing is simply taking all of that weight of constant questioning off your shoulders and into a real space where it can be evaluated.

Fair Winds and Following Seas, It’s Safe to Look Now

Once you’ve exhausted your mind and are sure every thought has been scrubbed out, it’s time to review your musings.

As you read through your massive jumble of words, write little notes defining umbrella themes your statements reside under (i.e. service, health, self-expression, full autonomy, isolation). Some will resonate, others will not.

Be sure to do this from the right lens. Remember, you’re being selfish right now. Don’t allow “what will others think?” to creep into your head and alter the course of what you find meaningful. You and you alone get to decide what’s meaningful because regardless of the end product, you’re living into your true, authentic self.

These themes, although abstract and lacking meaning to any outsider, are going to carry you into a blissful state of being and allow you to narrow down exactly what your identity is.

Take the Helm, Let’s Create a Vision

Now that you’ve identified some themes in your unfiltered thoughts, it’s back to writing. You’re going to take a similar approach as before, in that you will write ferociously, even if mid-sentence you don’t like where it’s going, but with a different end goal in mind.

You’re going to use the themes you just identified to construct the most beautiful, knock-your-socks-off, personal statement ever. No one before you and no one after will ever be able to capture the significance of what you craft. No one else will see it as such for the exact same reasons you don’t see the significance in theirs or mine. I know I’m getting rather repetitive, but you need to embrace this point.

When I went through this process, it was incredibly difficult to get into the “it’s all about me” mindset, but do it for these few moments, and you can spend the rest of your life in selflessness.

With your hands firmly on the wheel, steer yourself toward the vision that will guide you to the promise land, wherever that might be.

When you think you’ve found utopia, do a quick assessment. How do you feel? Your head and heart should be overcome with equal parts calm and euphoria. The calmness reflects a sudden inner peace knowing you’ve identified what the future should hold and the euphoria is an uncontrollable excitement to pursue this future without fear or doubt.

If you haven’t reached this level of emotional connection, keep going. If need be, take a rest, come back in a day or two, but promise yourself you’ll see the process all the way through.

Once your vision statement is finalized, you can stop here or take it to the next level. I’m going to wrap things up for now, but if you want to see what this bonus step looks like, check out how my vision of love was solidified through seven all-encompassing questions that framed my future without limiting my options.

If you enjoyed this post, show the love by clicking the heart below or share your own thoughts in the comments. For more strategies in letting life in and leveling up, join me at Your Pen Paul as I push forward in realizing my full potential.